Healing Trust Issues in Relationships: How Online Couples Psychological Therapy Can Help
Relationships often move through cycles of closeness and distance, with periods of connection followed by times of tension or disconnection. These ups and downs can be especially painful when trust has been damaged, whether through past unfaithfulness, secrecy, or the ongoing pattern of second-guessing a partner’s intentions. Once trust is disrupted, doubt often takes hold, leaving both partners vulnerable to heightened conflict and emotional distance.
Attachment theory offers a helpful framework for understanding why these issues run so deep. Hazen and Shaver’s (1987) landmark work showed how adult romantic relationships reflect the attachment styles first developed in childhood—secure, anxious, or avoidant. When early experiences included inconsistency, loss, or relational ruptures, individuals may internalise fears of rejection or abandonment, which can resurface in adult partnerships. This often explains why even small breaches of trust can feel overwhelming, or why one partner may struggle to feel fully secure, despite reassurance.
Later research by myself and Dr John Shea on adult attachment and relationship satisfaction, expanded on this by showing how people carry forward mental models of self and others into successive relationships. These mental models shape how partners interpret each other’s behaviour, how quickly they repair after conflict, and how resilient the relationship feels in the face of stress. Recognising these deeper patterns allows couples to move beyond surface arguments and work at the level of emotional security—rebuilding trust, intimacy, and healthier ways of relating.
Every relationship has its challenges. Sometimes it can feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages. As a psychologist, I create a safe space where couples can slow down, understand each other’s emotions, and break out of painful patterns. Using evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy and Imago, I help partners rebuild trust, empathy, and connection. No matter where you are in your relationship, therapy can be a place of healing and growth—turning conflict into deeper connection.”
Quiz: Discover Your Attachment Style https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
If you’re reading this and find yourself caught in patterns of doubt, mistrust, or second-guessing your partner, you’re not alone. These struggles can leave you feeling isolated, confused, and exhausted—especially if past unfaithfulness or painful experiences keep resurfacing in the present. Without support, the cycle of hurt can deepen, putting both you and your relationship at greater risk. Online couples counselling offers a safe and accessible way to begin breaking those patterns, so you don’t have to keep carrying the weight of mistrust on your own.
For further information or to book a session, you’re welcome to reach out
Stephen O’Malley, Psychologist, Chatswood, New South Wales – TherapyTribe
